The episode should be called GUTS! because that's really what it's all about tonight.
Will tells his parents (played by Debra Monk and Victor Garber) that Teri's pregnant. Will's nervous about being a dad and his father tells him he just need guts. Will's dad settled for working in an insurance agency instead of going to law school, and regrets it. Dad says Will has to figure out if he has any guts.
Will is choreographing a number with Glee. Rachel complains about the dancing, after being prompted to by the cheer-saboteurs. The cheer-tators recommend a choreographer named Dakota Stanley. This is all very Sparky Pulastri.
Will vents to Emma about his stress. She's says it's okay because they're both in relationships, and basically they can talk now.
Sandy the ex-teacher (Stephen Tobolowsky is amazing, once again) isn't allowed within fifty feet of children, but that doesn't stop him from visiting the teachers lounge. The shop teacher, Henry, has returned after severing his thumbs in an unfortunate cough-medicine related saw accident. Sandy is glad Henry's back and notes that you'll get a "schoolful of nancies unless you get some hot wood in those teenagers' hands." One of many priceless lines tonight.
Will, Sandy, Henry and Ken observe how lame their lives are while enjoying some Welcome-Back Thumb cake. Ken Tanaka lives at the YMCA, and Sandy writes Desperate Housewives fanfic. Niiiice. The guys sing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow " for Henry, and an idea is born.
The four men form an a capella group, with Howard the inventory guy. Howard suggests they call it...The Acafellas. They immediately vote out Sandy because he's creepy. Wills busts into "This is How We Do It." Heh, the first of many fun a capella numbers tonight.
In Teri news, Teri is screwing Will every week now (trying to get pregnant of course). Will has no clue the pregnancy isn't real.
Rachel brings Will cookies at school, and says he's missed six rehearsals since he's so wrapped up in the Acafellas. He blows her off, and Rachel pushes Glee to hire the choreographer.
Finn hates the idea and points out to Rachel that she's pissed at him about what happened between them, and Rachel says he has feelings for her and no guts to admit it. Finn can't deny it. Finn threatens to quit Glee if she hires Dakota Stanley, but Rachel intends to do it anyway. Good for Rachel. What would the new kid know about dancing, anyway?
Sue touches base with her squad of skirted spies. She reminisces about being a part of the strike team in Panama that went after Noriega. She encourages them to push the choreographer issue to help ruin Glee. Jane Lynch, as Sue, is perfect this week. She's like a drill instructor in track pants and severe makeup.
Hanging out at their lockers, Mercedes asks Kurt if he's ever kissed anyone. Kurt says, "Yes, if by yes, you mean the tender crook of my elbow." Then he spritzes the hairspray on. PERFECT! I love this kid. Kurt reiterates to Mercedes that they are the lowest in the social order and get no love. The passing cheer-infilitrators tell Mercedes that she should go after Kurt.
The Aca-pellas do Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison" at a local bar. AWESOME. Tanaka raps and it's great. Funniest thing I've seen all week. Principal Figgins, Teri and Emma all watch. Principal Figgins asks the group to perform at the PTA meeting to make the parents happy since the school's been serving prison food.
Sandy is bitter about his ouster and wants in. He can get Josh Groban to come to their PTA show, and he heard Josh is looking for an opening act. ooOOOOoo
Outside by Kurt's SUV, on the way to find the choreographer....everyone admires the vehicle and Kurt tells that his dad bought him a car after Kurt promised to stop wearing form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee. His glee-mates look him up and down and he says blithely, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." Have I said how much I love this kid? Kurt then compliments Mercedes's outfit. They find the place where the choreographer is and find a girl is vomiting outside. She says he's a monster!
Dakota Stanley, played by Whit Hertford, is a short little bastard who shreds his brilliantly-performing singer-dancers, and ignores the Glee kids. He finally tells his fee is $8000 cover, plus $10000 bonus if they place top 3 in the Nationals.
PTA performance night arrives...and Henry cracks, and goes wild on the cough syrup. Howard quits, because his life is inventory or something.
Finn goes to Will and says he's quitting Glee. Will asks him to have the guts to not quit. Then he asks Finn to step in with the Acafellas for the big show.
Puck the jock (Mark Salling) surprisingly offers his services to Coach Tanaka in the acapella group. Puck thinks he has star potential. He plays the guitar, and he's sick of teenage girls, he wants cougars. Since he started doing music and hanging out with older women, he beats people up less now. Tanaka agrees to take Puck on, and threatens to kick his ass if Puck fucks up.Puck and Finn rehearse with Will, and it's good.
Rachel and Tina have a gay-vention for Mercedes, which is intervening when your friend likes a gay man. Mercedes is in denial, even after they point out that Kurt wore a corset to second period.
Mercedes explains that Kurt is sweet to her, and he is one of them. Guys don't ask out the Glee girls, and they're all lonely. Her friends leave it alone.
The cheerleaders hold a bikini carwash to raise money for the choreographer. This episode is 50% stolen from Bring It On and I don't care.
Mercedes and Kurt are cleaning his SUV. Mercedes still thinks they're dating and when she says so, Kurt tells her he's in love with someone else.
"Rachel?" she asks, and Kurt says, "Yes for several years now." It's obviously BS but Mercedes freaks out and smashes his window. Leading to....
Messing with a man's vehicle will never win his love, honey. But damn Amber Riley has a great voice.
Glee meets with Dakota Stanley now that they can afford him. He tells Kevin that he can't be in it because he can't dance, being paralyzed and all. He tells Kurt to shut his face gash. (Heh) And he feels like a woodland creature because Finn is freakishly tall! (Gloriously campy lines.) Everyone but Rachel and the cheerleaders walk out. Rachel has an epiphany and brings up the example of people telling Barbra Streisand that she needed a nose job when she started out. Glee don't need a choreographer. They'll win because they're different. She fires Dakota.
The Acafellas are getting ready and Tanaka is putting on mascara, because it makes his eyes pop. Josh Groban is there in the audience.
The 'fellas perform "I Wanna Sex You Up" with Sandy. Puck sings and dances well, getting on the floor, grinding a bit. Sue's reaction shot to this is GOLD. Half sneer, half lust. Jane Lynch, Emmys next year, count on it.
After the very successful show, the guys backstage meet Josh Groban. Turns out he actually came there to tell Sandy to stop emailing him, sending nude pics, sonnets, locks of hair, etc. He gives Sandy a restraining order and tells the Acafellas that the show was great.
Josh Groban hangs and talks to Will's mom. He tells he's tired of throngs of screaming teens and apparently likes drunks old broads.
Having tasted musical success, Will realizes that being a teacher is enough for him. His dad is happy for him and tells Will that he's decided to go to law school, that it's never too late.
Mercedes apologizes to Kurt for breaking his window. He says it doesn't matter anyway because his dad took his car away after he found Kurt's tiara collection. Kurt confesses that he doesn't really like Rachel and tells Mercedes simply, "I'm gay." He's never told anyone before and seems scared but relieved. Mercedes is okay with it. Kurt isn't ready to share this with the rest of Glee yet.
Sue is pissed her plan failed, and that Glee is more confident than ever. She makes the cheerleaders smell their own armpits so they'll know "the smell of failure." She revokes their tanning privileges for the rest of the semester. Quinn thanks her for teaching her that when you believe in yourself, you don't have to bring others down. Hmm. Quinn turning on Sue, and towards Glee for real? We'll see.
Glee is rehearsing as they were at the beginning. Rachel tells Will that the dancing is really good.
Next week: Sue and Sandy team up to take on Glee. Intriguing.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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