GLEE Ep 4: PREGGERS

Wow. Incredible episode. There's something about this show that just makes me so damn happy after watching it.
Alright, onto the recap/review...

The episode opens with...



Oh dear, Choreographis Interruptus. Kurt explains to his dad (guest star Mike O'Malley) that he's merely dancing in order to improve his football playing because he has joined the team, as the kicker. Dad is surprised and still spooked, frankly, but Kurt plays it off, and says that he and his dad will have something to talk about now. Now Kurt just has to figure out how the hell to back up this outrageous lie.

Teri and Will practice Lamaze breathing while Teri's sister Kendra visits and frightens Will with childbirth horror stories. She offers to massage Teri's belly. Teri panics, for obvious reasons, and gives Kendra the scoop after sending Will to the kitchen to make her a BLT. Kendra is surprisingly okay with the fake baby situation. Jennifer Aspen is great in this scene, especially her reaction to Teri panicking suddenly about having a baby. Her response? "Omigod, is the baby black?!"

Evil cheerleading coach Sue has been given her own spot on the local news, sharing her offensive opinions with the community. Her latest? Her ridiculously awesome pro-caning-in-school rant follows:
"To the people that say you can't smack children on their bare buttocks with razor sharp bamboo sticks I say, YES WE CANE!!!"
Sue's ratings are through the roof, and she rubs her new success in the other teachers' faces.

Glee Club is doing "Tonight" from "West Side Story" and Rachel is pissed that Will is giving Tina the solo. Rachel behaves like an entitled biotch, even after Will points out that Tina should be allowed to be happy about getting a solo for a change. Rachel feels that she has a special connection to Natalie Wood because they're both Jews.

Finn helps Kurt solve his kicker conundrum by getting him an "audition" with the football team. Kurt insists on trying out exactly as he has practiced- with "Singles Ladies" playing as he shimmies up to the ball and kicks it right between the goal posts. He makes the team, and acknowledges the cheering with a classic Miss America wave that I will turn into a gif as soon as a clip is online. Fucking beautiful moment.

A guy from the news station meets with Sue and tells her that she needs to remain a champion coach in order to keep her news gig. She resolves to fix the cheerleaders-defecting situation and pays a visit to Sandy, after blackmailing the principal into letting Sandy return to the school as an arts administrator. Sandy is going to help take down Glee.

Celibacy queen Quinn tells Finn that she's pregnant, despite them never having sex. Apparently he blew his wad during a hot tub encounter (bathing suits on, too) and she convinces him that she is preggers now. Finn is floored.

The new arts administrator is staging a production of Cabaret to steal away Rachel, and it works. Rachel auditions with Celine Dion's song, "Taking Chances." We only hear the tail of the song, but here is the full version with Lea Michele singing.

She gets the part, of course.

Will tries to talk to Rachel, admitting that they need her, but that the other members slack off because she does everything for them. The other singers need to know they can be stars too. Rachel rebuffs Will's attempt.

Will finds out that Sandy has returned to the school, and refuses to play nice about it. Sandy declares them adversaries.

Tina rehearses "Tonight" (no video or audio available yet that I've found, alas). She sounds very good, but is hard on herself. Will encourages her, noting that she stutters much less when she's confident. Tina says that Rachel is better, and they should give Rachel the Tonight solo because she'll quit otherwise.

Finn shows up at the rehearsal, and begins crying on Will's shoulder (literally) about the news of Quinn's pregnancy. Will doesn't know what he can do for Finn, other than help him contact a Planned Parenthood.Finn declines that help, but then asks Will for help with the football team, much to the teacher's surprise.
Finn explains that he and Puck were doing much better on the team since Will worked on dancing and loosening up with them for the Acafellas. Will doesn't think the football team will go for dancing, but agrees to try for Finn's sake.

Will tells Teri that Quinn is pregnant with an unwanted baby, and Teri's wheels start turning...

The team is predictably opposed to the dancing idea, but Coach Tanaka is for it and so they give it a try since they suck so badly. Kurt leads them in dancing to "Single Ladies" (of course.) One of the players looks like an average-height, really fat version of Herve Villechaise. As dance practice ends, Finn tells Puck about the pregnancy.

Puck is surprised, since he knows Quinn and Finn weren't having sex. He looks REALLY shocked. Hmmm.... I wonder...
Puck approaches Quinn, saying, "Sup, MILF." We learn that Puck got Quinn drunk of wine coolers and had sex with her, and she allowed it since she was feeling fat that day.Puck shockingly is somewhat sweet about it, offering to help take care of the baby because it's his, but Quinn insults him and runs off to her car crying.
Who should be in her car waiting, but Teri, lurking creepily.
She doesn't know Teri, but Teri know who she is and what her problem is. She offers to help, starting with prenatal vitamins: "Take these three times a day or your baby will be ugly." Quinn is puzzled, and wonders what Teri wants from her. Oooh! Ooh! I know the answer! I think we all do.

Time for the big football game. The team is doing horribly but refuse to dance because they'll get made fun of. Kurt sees his dad is there, watching the game, and Kurt jumps and waves at him in a way that is eerily reminiscent of the old Homocil faux commercial from SNL.
A rival team player heckles Puck, who retorts that he had sex with that guy's mom. He then elaborates, "No really, I cleaned your pool and then I had sex with your mom on your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets." Heh. I'm loving Puck so much the last two episodes.
Finn calls time out with one second on the clock, and the team agrees to give Kurt's dancing idea a try finally. The music starts, and the big beefy players bust out moving to "Single Ladies" again. The crowd loves it, and the boys find their groove, making a great play, leading to an opportunity for Kurt to kick. If he gets the goal, they win the game. Now really, what do YOU think happens?

Kurt steps up, and takes his musical kick...and it's good! The team carries Kurt, the boy they were beating up on the first episode, on their shoulders across the field. Kurt blows a kiss happily to the crowd.
Quinn and Finn kiss in celebration, while Puck watches on jealously.

Now...a big scene. Big beautiful important scene. I got a little weepy here, I have to admit. Took me back to high school, and seeing several of my friends deal with being gay in high school.

Kurt's dad tells him that he's proud of him and wishes Kurt's late mother could be there to see him. Kurt musters up the courage, and tells his dad he has something to tell his dad, because he doesn't want to lie anymore. Quietly, Kurt finally tells his dad that he's gay. His dad says...he knows. He's known since Kurt was three, and asked for sensible heels for birthday. He's not in love with the idea, but if that's who Kurt is, there's nothing Dad can do about it, but he loves Kurt just as much.

Sniff.

Denouement for tonight:
Finn gives Quinn his baby blanket, and Puck swings by their lockers to comment on Quinn gaining weight. Finn defends her, and Puck uncharacteristically backs off.

Will refuses to back down on the issue of the West Side Story solo. Rachel officially quits Glee. Will then announces that three football players have joined Glee- Puck and two other guys whose names escaped me. Mmmmmm more Puck.

Thus endeth the story.
Next week: Kristen Chenoweth brings her amazing Tony-and-Emmy-winning self to Glee. Rachel slaps Finn! And we finally see "Somebody To Love."